“If you only hear one side of the story, you have no understanding at all.”

— Chinua Achebe

I learnt a lesson about this the hard way. It was during my time as president of the Students Union Government in 1998. I was fast asleep in my room one night. Suddenly, I heard a loud bang on my door and a commotion outside. 

I opened the door to see one of my mates, he was very emotional with a little crowd of students gathering behind him. He narrated his story—we all knew he was a self-sponsored student who drove a taxi after school. That was how he raised funds to pay his fees. 

He was on his taxi round that night when a policeman stopped him because of a broken tail light. The policeman wanted a bribe from him and all his pleas that he was an indigent student fell on deaf ears. His ID card and the taxi cab were impounded until he could raise a bribe for the policeman. That was his story.

Wisdom doesn’t shout. It listens. It pauses. It asks one more question before moving. The more urgent the story feels, the more you need to slow down. Share on X

I was livid with rage. I quickly mobilized students and led a protest which began that night and continued till the following day. We took over the town and there was an uproar—especially because the university was non-residential. 

The following day, the Sole Administrator (those were the days of the military Head of State, Sani Abacha, and the university had a Sole Administrator instead of a Vice Chancellor), the now late Professor Akinola Salau sent for me. The Paramount Ruler of the town was also on the phone and the whole town was in panic mode. An urgent meeting was called to resolve the issue.

I attended the meeting with some selected members of my executive committee and our guy whose taxi caused the commotion. Then I heard another angle of the story that made me look very foolish. 

It turned out that truly, our guy was stopped by a policeman for his broken tail light. But that was the only part of the story that was true.

The most dangerous battles are the ones we fight in ignorance, fueled by half-truths and good intentions. Share on X

The policeman who stopped him was the Divisional Traffic Officer who had a well known reputation for his integrity. At that time, he was one of the leaders of the Deeper Life Bible Church in that town.

He was at the meeting and to my shock, he told me he took money from his own pocket the moment he realized the guy was a student, gave it to him to buy the broken tail light and come for his car which he truly impounded once he buys the tail light.

He told us he impounded the car because it could cause an accident. I looked at our guy and asked if this was true. “Did the DTO give you money from his pocket”? “So you lied that he demanded a bribe”? Silence. I screamed at him and he acknowledged what the DTO said. I became weak.

So, I had been fighting a wrong battle for more than 24 hours. I had put my life and those of hundreds of students at risk because we heard only one side of the story and took one person’s truth as the truth. I was so ashamed of our behaviour and I’ve never felt more foolish in my life. We had even been tear gassed at a point during the protest.

I had to offer profuse apologies for our behaviour, having discovered the truth. That incident brought me closer to the Area Commander at that time who was so fatherly that he closed his eyes to some of our indiscretions. That was one life lesson I will never forget.

There’s a reason the good book says, “Be swift to hear and slow to speak”. There’s a reason we have two ears but one mouth—so we can listen twice more than we speak.

Many people often rush to judgment, forgetting that most times you never know “the” truth—you know “a” truth. I like the way the Bible says it: 

“The first one to plead his case seems right until another comes and cross examines him.”

– (Proverbs 18:17, AMP) 

So, if you must fight on someone’s behalf, look into the matter very well. Don’t be hasty and don’t rush to judgment. Avoid being embarrassed. Not every battle should be yours. Sometimes, it is wise to stay aloof.

Not every voice deserves your sword. Not every wrong needs your war. Sometimes, true courage is in the restraint to wait and weigh. Share on X

Choose your battles wisely. Not every struggle should be your struggle. Some struggles are just foolish. Make haste slowly.

“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” No be me talk am. Na the Good Book in Proverbs 18:2.