That’s one of the Yoruba proverbs I learnt from my mum. It means that it is not everything the eye sees that the mouth speaks. That is a classic lesson in emotional intelligence.
Our forefathers may not have seen the four walls of a school, but they were nevertheless well endowed with wisdom and intelligence.
One of the hallmarks of immaturity is expressing oneself without restraints. A child doesn’t consider the feelings of others except itself—so the child talks anyhow. His freedom of expression is without limits.
Some call it wokeness. In actual fact, it is lack of tact and absence of emotional intelligence.
Some hide under the guise of their temperament and say that’s who they are. They must speak their minds, not minding whose ox is gored. Their lips are not circumcised.
It is not everything your eyes see that should pass through your mouth. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from consequences. Share on XThe other day, I visited one of the governors in the southwest and shared a picture we took. A chap came on the thread and asked if I told him his state was dirty. I replied that he should do so the day he meets him.
I attended an iftar hosted by the late Governor of Oyo State, Senator Abiola Ajimobi. I shared a picture I took with him and a nincompoop asked if I told him he was a terrible person. Another pilloried me for describing the visit in glowing terms.
He said he has lost respect for me because I couldn’t tell the governor the truth. I didn’t know it was his respect that was feeding my family.
A few weeks before writing this, a father in the faith whom I respect so well shared a live video. He had grown some beards. A fellow came on the post and said the pastor looked unkempt. Yes, that was how he put it. I cringed and had to refrain from giving the fellow a piece of my mind.
The foolishness of many is unbecoming. I once shared a picture of myself in my living room and a fellow drew markings on the window blinds and posted that they were not well aligned. Thankfully, so many yabbed the guy who left my timeline with his head buried in his lap.
Foolishness seems to be in the water many drink nowadays.
At another time, a fellow poked fun at my dressing when I shared my picture with the Governor of Oyo State. His comment: “Your tailor needs to up his game sir. He nor iron the clothes well at all”. I gave it back to him: “Your brain needs to up its game. You no think well at all.”
Some things are better left unsaid. If you must correct, do it with tact and emotional intelligence. Or keep it to yourself. Share on XThose are the people who body-shame others. They are quick to point out potbellies and sagging breasts. They laugh at children and their mistakes. They are very insensitive. They complain about the government but is it the government that will fix their manners?
What will it cost you to send a DM or go inbox if you have an observation? Why don’t you think about how your comments make others feel? Where is your discretion? Discretion is the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offence.
Must you even say everything you see? My mum used to say those kinds of people have eaten the chicken’s anus—wọ́n ti jẹ fùrọ̀ adìyẹ.
Bójú rí, ẹnu a dákẹ́.