I’ve struggled with my weight for a long time. Over the years, I’ve tried all kinds of gimmicks to keep it under control. Different meal plans never seemed to work—or maybe I simply didn’t have the endurance to stick with them long enough to see results.
I tried one that was about drinking smoothies throughout the day. I tried another one where cabbage was blended and prepared as swallow. I even tried intermittent fasting. Looking back, perhaps I gave up too easily.
I also tried skipping meals, but then I was told breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I’ve tried avoiding late-night meals too, but I can’t exactly call that a success. It’s not easy to sit still, watch Netflix after midnight, and resist the temptation to snack. And eating late certainly doesn’t make it any easier to lose belly fat.
My wife has done her part as well. She has tried reducing my calorie intake and cutting down my portions, especially carbohydrates. But how does one survive on what looks like a fist-sized portion of amala or pounded yam for a lifetime?
Success becomes easier when you don't have to pursue it alone. Find people who inspire you, challenge you, and remind you of the goals you've set for yourself. Share on XWhen I was growing up, my dream was simple: once I started making money, I would be able to eat whatever I wanted. These days, that dream has been revised to: if you want to stay fit and healthy, you have to eat to live, not live to eat. What a life!
I’ve also never been able to make good use of my gym subscription. The one time I actually did was over a decade ago. I had closed early from work and was exercising at the gym when a former colleague called me.
“Have you checked your email?” he asked. He explained that management had just sent out sack letters to some staff, including himself, and wanted to know if I had received one too.
I abandoned my car and ran all the way home to check my mail on my laptop. To this day, I still remember that experience whenever I drive past a gym.
I also tried working out in my estate after work. The problem was that I usually got home very late. By then, it was difficult to pull on my slacks and start jogging around the estate close to midnight.
What about exercising in the morning? How do you sustain that when you have to leave home by 5:30 am to beat the traffic so you can arrive early to work?
So I struggled through different approaches with mixed results until, one day, a colleague told me about something she and a few others at work had just started. They had downloaded a fitness app that allowed everyone in the group to see one another’s daily progress. The goal was simple: take 10,000 steps daily. I thought that was simple.
I subscribed to the app and saw the list of colleagues and the number of steps each person had taken that day. I felt it would be ridiculous if I finished at the bottom of the leaderboard. So I started walking.
Instead of calling colleagues on the phone, I walked to their departments. I chose the stairs instead of the lift. I walked short distances instead of driving—all the time looking at the app to see how everyone else was doing.
By the time I got home each evening, I looked at the number of steps I’d taken. Knowing that a new challenge would begin at midnight, I doubled down. Many nights, I played music and danced just to increase my step count. I also began using the treadmill at home more.
There is a female colleague who consistently tops the daily leaderboard. For a long time, I wondered how she managed to stay so far ahead until I finally asked her and she gave me the “cheat” code. She would stand at her workspace and take her steps at the same point. So I started that too and the number of steps increased.
I found out that while we competed mentally, we shared notes and no one wanted to be left behind. We encouraged anyone lagging behind. And this has helped in no small measure.
If you want to improve in any area of your life, surround yourself with people who naturally strengthen the qualities you want to develop. Close interaction and healthy accountability have a powerful influence on personal growth. The level of effectiveness often increases when there is a sense of community or a demand for accountability.
Whether you’re trying to cultivate spiritual gifts, refine your values, build stronger character, commit to personal development, improve your finances, develop healthy habits, become physically fitter, or cultivate any other positive quality, spending time with people who share the same aspirations will go a long way in reinforcing the behaviours you want to develop. Everybody drags everyone along.
So, here are my suggestions:
1. Identify exactly what your goal is.
Be clear about what you want to achieve. Solving a problem begins with identifying the problem. You should also have a clear picture of what success looks like.
2. Find people who have either mastered it or are making steady progress.
This is one reason people recovering from alcohol addiction are encouraged to join support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous. If you’re trying to overcome a particular weakness, distance yourself from people who reinforce that behaviour. Instead, spend time with those who epitomise the behaviour, habit, value or lifestyle you desire.
Who are you walking with? Whether your goal is better health, stronger character, financial growth, or spiritual maturity, the people around you can either move you forward or hold you back. Share on X3. Build accountability into the process.
You must have someone who will not only encourage you but also place a demand on you. You need to have shared commitments and someone who will monitor and measure performance or compliance.
4. Don’t give up.
Real change takes time. It took you a long but consistent pattern to get into the weakness you’re trying to break free from. Freedom will also come through the same long process of consistent, intentional effort in the opposite direction. Keep trying until you win.
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. — Proverbs 27:17