I was so shocked that I still recollect the event as vividly as it happened then around 2004/5. The guy was very popular then in Warri. A high-flyer who always dazzled everyone at our meetings. His presentations were always top-notch.
He always looked dapper in his pin-stripe suits. His bulging biceps showed even in his suits. He always looked like someone who stepped out of a GQ magazine.
Then it was Christmas that year. He was home with his wife when robbers struck. To date, I wonder if he struggled with them. His wife said he didn’t. The robbers entered their Warri home, took their valuables and shot him. He died on Christmas day.
The news of his death spread like wildfire with many of us wearing mournful looks after resumption from the Christmas holidays. Nevertheless, he had to be buried that week. It wasn’t a long thing because it was just him and his wife- they had no child yet.
The funeral was a very sober event with all of us wearing black. Colleagues trooped out to pay their last respect to one of them whose light dimmed suddenly. The atmosphere was sombre. Tears poured freely.
There is no better preacher than death. Death delivers the best sermons and is more eloquent than any orator. Whatever death cannot teach, nothing else can. Share on XThat is why the Preacher in Ecclesiastes Chapter 7 verse 2 wrote that “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart”.
After the funeral service, we trooped to the cemetery for the interment. It was time for him to be committed to Mother Earth – ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Then someone whispered about an ongoing conversation he heard at the back.
A superior had asked from the Line Manager of the deceased who took over his Branch. He was also quoted as saying that there should be no gap at all.
I was very furious like many others. I actually felt like throwing in the towel that day.
It was an absolute lack of empathy to discuss succession at the funeral. How can people display such a lack of emotional intelligence? For a long time, I was bitter.
Until I came to the realization that life doesn’t stop for anyone. Eni to ku ni ti e gbe meaning ‘the person who really suffered a loss is the person whose life was lost’ – and his/her immediate family. All others are just mourners who have no real stake.
If many realize how fast people move on, we will live and love a bit differently. Friends you could cut your head for will not even skip meals on the day of your death. After your funeral, all promises made are quickly forgotten.
If you’re lucky, a few may remember your first death anniversary.
This is why one should get priorities right. Some things truly matter and some things don’t. Do good but not for the validation of others. Don’t live to please anyone.
Give attention to what truly matters and above all live your life to the fullest.
Prepare for death as you prepare for life. Don’t outsource the care of your family to anyone. Oju mewa o jo oju eni – others can never truly treat what belongs to you as theirs.
As funny as it sounds, the Ghanaian proverb:
“When a widow has big buttocks, the elders do not waste time to bury her husband” should be instructive to anyone who takes life too seriously and is possessive.”
I will have to quote the Preacher again in Ecclesiastes Chapter 2 verses 18 and 19: “Yea, I hated all my labour which I had taken under the sun: because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me. And who knoweth whether he shall be a wise man or a fool? Yet shall he have rule over all my labour wherein I have laboured, and wherein I have shewed myself wise under the sun. This is also vanity”.
Do the best you can while you're here. Enjoy your life and make it count. You will die one day so live. Share on X