There are certain things that are simply off-limits for me when it comes to social media postings and engagements.

I don’t discuss other people’s marriages.

It’s none of my business. As long as two people are consenting adults, I keep my opinions to myself and sincerely wish them well. I wouldn’t want my own marriage to be the subject of negative social media debates, so I extend that same courtesy to others.

In my Yoruba culture, there is a saying about three things you should never tell someone not to do.

First, never tell someone not to marry a particular person. If they go ahead anyway and, years later, you send a child from that marriage on an errand, you’ll hear the story of your life.

Second, never tell someone not to build a house. The day heavy rain falls and you run there for shelter, you’ll be treated to tales you’ll not be happy to hear.

Third, never tell someone not to start a venture. If the day comes when you need a loan from that person, they will start the conversation with how the loan would not have been possible if they had listened to you.

I also don’t discuss pastors or religious leaders on social media.

I know it is fashionable these days to make them the target of public criticism and ridicule. But they are off-limits for me.

Instead, I choose to pray for them. I am deeply aware of my own humanity and of the scriptural warning that anyone who thinks they are standing should be careful, lest they fall. The truth is simple: the best of human beings is still human.

They are men before they are men of God. Do I agree with everything they do? No. Just as I don’t agree with everything my father does. But I would never come to social media to publicly tear down my father simply to prove a point. I was raised to handle disagreements with dignity and respect.

Before you type, pause. Not every opinion deserves a post. Share on X

I don’t discuss ethnicity or tribe either.

I believe strongly in the goodness of humanity. Your ethnic background does not determine whether you are good or bad. No one had any control over where they were born, so why should judgment be based on something no one chose?

There are good people and bad people everywhere. Some of the most wonderful people I have encountered in life are not even from my ethnic group.

As I write this, I remember my professional journey as of August 2020. I had worked with my line manager across three different organizations. Each time she moved, she called me to join her. Each move came with a promotion. She is Igbo. I am Yoruba. She could easily have called a Chukwudi or an Emeka but she called Bayo.

I also remember an experience from 1999, during my National Youth Service in Port Harcourt. I was initially posted to an oil and gas firm for my primary assignment, and I was excited. When I got to the Head of HR to submit my letter, I was even more hopeful because he was Yoruba like me. His Yorubaness was all over him in thick tribal marks. The Ogbomoso design..

Out of respect for our culture, I prostrated. I greeted him in deep Yoruba. He barely responded, and only in English. He told me he did not need a corps member. I pleaded, explaining that I did not even need a salary. I simply wanted the opportunity to work and learn.

He called someone to formally reject me and he ejected me from his office.

He was Yoruba, just like me.

So, tribe is off-limits for me. Every human being is created in the image and likeness of God. If God is the creator of nations and nationalities, why shouldn’t I be comfortable with that diversity?

Wondering what not to post on social media? This article shares personal lessons on restraint, respect, and why silence can be wiser than public opinion. Share on X

I also don’t insult elders.

Even when I disagree, I do so respectfully. Before engaging someone I am not familiar with online, I take a moment to check their profile. I don’t respond emotionally or impulsively.

If I realize that I cannot engage constructively, I take a walk. I value the relationship more than the argument. I don’t understand everything. So I don’t have an opinion about everything. That is why I don’t write about everything.

These boundaries guide how I show up online and offline. They keep me grounded, thoughtful, and humane. And they remind me that character is often revealed not only by what we say but also by what we choose not to say.